dr. visit

I've been waiting a few days to post on how Friday's dr visit went because I really wasn't sure how to take it.  I think I had a feeling that day. Trev actually asked me in the waiting room if I was excited and I said "No. But I was excited yesterday." I wasn't sure why I responded that way.
We had an ultrasound. Bump's weight is estimated to be 6lbs 13oz! I was 7oz when I was born, so I guess he is already taking after his daddy. He looked good on the ultrasound. The tech said he had a big belly. We'd just had birth class and the teacher was saying how "We love chunky monkey babies over skinny babies." So that was also a great characteristic to learn also.

The problem began when we met with our dr. and she pointed out the concern with having a baby with a big abdomen. A baby's head is suppose to be the largest part. Otherwise there's rise of the baby getting stuck in the canal after the head has delivered, shoulder dystocia. Dr. said she'd be willing to labor the baby but I also might want to consider an elective csection.

I left the dr.'s office feeling okay but once at work I began researching and my mood changed. You'll read that shoulder dystocia is about the most scary emergency any obstetrician runs into. I asked some girlfriends to share their experiences and it helped some. They brought up a slew of great points. One that sticks out, "you don't get pregnant to labor. You get pregnant to have a baby. So who cares how the baby comes as long as he's healthy." Another point that worried me was the healing process of a csection. after all the great advice I was still left with the feeling that I was not one who wanted to have an elective csection. If I had to have an emergency csection, I'd be okay with it, but I didn't want to sign up for it willingly. I wanted to labor and I wanted him to come on his own time, even if he was late. I wanted him to call the shots.

I went through feeling that I had done something wrong for him to grow so fast and ultimately wallowed all night Friday. Saturday was better, but I still wasn't feeling up to call my mom back and tell her all this. Today I'm better. I mean, none of this is bad for him. Having a big abdomen has no risks to him. he's JUST big. So I still have a healthy boy. I just might not get to bring him into the world the way I preferred.

We have a dr. appointment this Wednesday. I want to find out which method the dr. prefers vs. giving me an option. She's the expert. Then we can go from there. Trev even suggested us having another ultrasound, even if the costs is out of our own pocket (you only get 3 w/insurance).

I may not want to sit around and talk about it, but I'm better/accepting. Thanks again girls for your emails on Friday.