6 weeks since chemo ended

Hi everyone. We have been busy...with fun things. We went to Tahoe. On the way up I received an email telling me my tumor had shrunk 90%. So that set a great tone to the trip. I had an afternoon at the spa and Trevor broke/bruised his tailbone on the slopes. So we kinda had opposite feelings on the trip :). Lucius got to throw snowballs and had an all out great time sharing a cabin with our friends. Many thanks go out to our friends helping out with watching him. It allowed me to finally relax.
Then we went to Portland for Chris's wedding. The wedding was beautiful. Chris redesigned a classic roman room into a trendy blue reception. It was really cool. We're glad we stayed downtown in the wedding hotel. It gave us a whole new view on the city. Chris's parents and Lilly were great, feeding us and trotting us all around.
We actually enjoy staying in a hotel with Lucius. We'd play on the bed, and throw pillows and just have a good 'ole time. We did have to stay with him during nap time. This usually resulted in us taking naps too. But we were okay w/that sacrifice.
The following weekend, my stepdad came to visit and take the girls back to Alabama. We had a lovely visit. Ate some German pretzels and finally got to see the Golden Gate Bridge from Hawk Hill. But I think the cold weather gave me a little cold.
Seeing the girls off was emotional. Vega will be 10 this year. Thats a long time to have a pet and have to say goodbye. But I truly believe this is for the best. It'll ease my recovery and they're going to have a much better quality of life. About a month ago I started realizing that vega was beginning to show her age by having to slow down to get outside. This way she only has a short hop outside and she'll get to sniff as long as she wants. Lucy will also be happier being allowed to sleep on the couch and gallop around.
In my recovery news, I head off for surgery on Wednesday, February 12. I decided to only have the left breast removed, for now. This will give me a quicker recovery and I'll still be able to use my right arm and give Lucius huggies. Once I recover from surgery I'll have 30 rounds of radiation. Then 6-12 months after that I'll have reconstruction and removal of the right breast w/immediate reconstruction. Trevor told me I should take in some of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition model pics to give the plastic surgeon a clear direction on how I want to look. :P
I keep flip flopping on how I feel about this surgery. One moment I'm fearless and then the next I'm dreading recovery. If you recall, I did not recover very well from my c-section. Right now I feel okay about surgery. But then I'll specifically think about how a body part is being removed, permanently. It's really bizarre. Yes, I know it's for the best...blah blah blah. It's doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have conflicting emotions.
My genetics tests came back negative. That's relieving for me, but more so for my family. I'm glad I don't have to recommend to anyone to go through testing too. I'm also relieved that Lucius doesn't have to be involved. Some of the mutations would have required him to have special care.
I have been feeling much better. I definitely took longer to recover from the last FEC dose. My taste buds were messed up for weeks. I found black pepper to be too spicy. If you know me well, then you know I'm the sort of person who unscrews the pepper shaker so I can get a good amount on my food.
I have a 5 o'clock shadow on my head :). I look forward to my hair growing out. I have to be honest, it was nice having completely smooth armpits and not having to shave my legs. And I guess it's nice to not have to style my hair either. Surprisingly, that only knocked off about 10 minutes in my morning routine. I guess I started spending more time on my makeup covering up my missing eyelashes and eyebrows.
I've gained some weight. I'm not happy about it, but it does signify I'm eating again. I imagine surgery will take off those few pounds since I won't want to eat much.
I am about to sign up for the Avon walk in July. It's 39 miles. They had a few alumni talk at the party. Of course they were all terribly emotional. Every breast cancer survivor's story is heartbreaking. I recently talked to a newly diagnosed patient and I had tears streaming down my eyes the whole time. You want to help, but you're still sad that this person is having to travel your same path. I want to get involved with raising awareness somehow. I haven't figured out what my role is yet. Hopefully I'll figure it out before the end of the year.
I have to raise $1800 to be eligible for the walk. So you can expect me to start dinging folks on Facebook sometime soon. I'm excited at participating and being able to start training next month. Lucius and I are going to start seeing a whole lot more of the city on foot sometime soon.
Today, I went to an open house for a co-op preschool. I arrived 1 hour early and was still a high number of 25. I heard one guy arrived at 5:50 and was number 5! In a co-op I would work one of the 3 days each week. And the program is only a half day, but WAY......cheaper. I learned about TK, transitional kindergarten. Kids who's birthdays fall after the sep 1 cutoff until dec 2, are eligible for this program. It's a state program so it's free! B/c of where his birthdate falls Lucius may be able to start preK with 4 year olds in the fall. This is good b/c the 3's program is the hardest to get in. So this may increase our chance of him being accepted for this year. I love my time with Lucius. I was always happy with my decision to leave work and take care of him. But I'm especially happy due to my diagnosis. It's hard to let go, but I know it's time. He's itching to make friends and play with other kids. He's so kind and sweet.
If only we could be done with potty and food training.

Well I think that catches everyone up on me. Once I upload my pictures I'll add it to this post. Thanks for all your kind & supportive words. Take care.


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